K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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