Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
