im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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