it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
