my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Randomize
