Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
