I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
