You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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