whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Randomize
