pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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