Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Randomize
