i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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