would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
