She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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