The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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