he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
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