i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
