hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Randomize
