8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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