I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
