she kept yelling 'call me bella'
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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