Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
he quoted the bible to break up with me
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
