I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
