One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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