I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
