I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
