i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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