Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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