it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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