69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
