Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
why do cheetos always look like penises
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Randomize
