i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
