Me. At least after what I've been through.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
