I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
