No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
