I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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