how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
