remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Randomize
