bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
