It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
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