You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
