Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Randomize
