So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Randomize
