fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Randomize
