I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
