highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
did you just send me my own nude
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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