All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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