everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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