Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
there is glitter all over my balls
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
