Sry I called you an 8
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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