need another drink. this is the easiest way
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
